Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together… as this will assist the police officers who are about to arrest you  all.

No matter what went wrong, she could always rely on one thing to lift her spirits – her hand.

I’m really looking forward to…. to simply…prevent me from bumping into any more things.

I just found out the source of all evil…It’s actually barbecue.

I’ve concluded that I’m imaginary – it’s true, why would your own imagination lie to you.  My mind is made up – since I am my brain, all that I am is completely make-believe. So thanks to everyone for believing in me, but it’s no longer necessary-for I am, in fact, fictional.

I never got my poetic license.

I was made at an unsatisfactory.

If there was a dawn of time, will there be a dusk of time at the end of it all? Will it be pretty?

Opiates – you can’t get off on them and you can’t get off of them

Stupid gravity’s always bringing me down.

Like it? Read #1 or #2.

Related posts:

  1. Isolated Thoughts #2
  2. Isolated thoughts
  3. Stephen Wright Quotes
  4. Mitch Hedberg Quotes
  5. Jack Handey Quotes

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