You’ve heard about God creating the universe, seeing that it was good and all, but have you seen the mutants he’s been spawning of late? Are they God’s bloopers, manifestations of his sense of humour, does he have a day off and let Jesus do some of the creating? If it’s the former then he can’t be all powerful, if it’s the latter, he’s got quite a sadistic sense of humour for someone supposedly holy. Do these mutants look like they were personally sculpted by an all-knowing, all-powerful and all-good being, or are they more adequately explained within the theory of evolution: as random genetic mutations? These mutations fail to give their bearers a reproductive advantage amongst their kind, thus, their oddities were not “naturally selected” since this means they were not evolutionarily beneficial.

Liu Ch’ung, who Ripley met in China.

Liu Ch’ung, who Ripley met in China.

Can anyone still say “intelligent design” with a straight face?

A two headed kitten from Illinois.

There will be more of some of nature’s best bloopers up shortly, at about the pace of a freak per week, since the scanning process is long and monotonous and Freak per Week sounds crisp.

 

I found this in an old book; wouldn’t a video of this ridiculous behavior be most amusing? If anyone has seen a lizard like this, put it in next to a mirror, film the ensuing hilarity, post it on youtube then send me a link.

Also, I can’t believe people still think someone intelligent is responsible for the creation of animals despite this sort of thing. One need only look at Galápagos giant turtles trying to lay their eggs and then get back to the ocean to see that there hasn’t been any thought put into their existence at all – they barely make it (and look quite hilarious doing so – their size and weight makes it extremely difficult and awkward for them to maneuver around on land), but barely reproducing is all that is required of them, so they survive. If god was behind this, he would’ve made lizards knowing humans would come along and mess with mirrors and built in a system of recognition that would prevent such displays; he wouldn’t have made it so preposterously difficult for the turtles to reproduce, and he wouldn’t have made human beings so gullible that they’d believe anyone was behind any of it.

 

The age-old question has finally been answered. Yes, you can interbreed chickens and dogs. No, you shouldn’t do so, as this will be the result; God’s little punch line.

Maybe it’s just me and that thing on its face doesn’t look much like a scrotum at all – maybe I’m just projecting my testicle-lust upon the world.

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