We fur-challenged monkeys, with our superior opposable thumbs, designed clothes to keep our inferior weak bodies from freezing. Fat stores are reserves in case of future hunger, also working as a level of insulation to protect our organs from the harsh weather. These things kept our species alive through the ice age, when, as the title suggests, it was rather frosty, and food was scarce. (Think squirrel and nuts from “Ice Age”. It’s almost worth watching the movie just to see his sporadic scenes.)
Without clothes and fat stores humans would not have survived nature’s onslaught. I only need draw your attention to one thing to make this obvious – the phallus. It protrudes from the body (thereby leaving it vulnerable to the cold, much unlike the female ovaries which are nestled comfortably in between other organs) and emits fluids. (In freezing weather, emitting fluids is just about the worst thing you can do.) A penis, uncovered and unwarmed in freezing weather, is not only likely to freeze off entirely, it is guaranteed not to perform its function of spreading the seed that its accompanying testicles manufacture. Without clothing, penises would have been extinct, which unfortunately has negative consequences for the reproduction and ensuing survival of our species. Sure, the women would have tried to woo mammoths and other hairier creatures with working genitalia, however the success rate of the courtship would have been low, and the results of breeding frightening. It is obvious we owe a lot to clothes, and fat, and penises, for ensuring that we are alive today. However, at some point in history, things took a turn for the worst. As the weather improved, clothes were no longer always a necessity.


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