We were late to our tutorial today because we were distracted by a bizarre spectacle whilst wandering from the car to the campus. We were walking along the lake (or river if you must), admiring the scenery, birds, and other such natural manifestations of beauty. A bunch of seagulls and ducks were clustered in a manner most strange around a section of the riverbank, doing nothing in particular, collectively. This happened to be one of our favourite pastimes, so we decided to explore the reason behind their congregation. As we neared them, they parted to reveal the focus of their interest – a small, brown, furry creature nestled in the bank. We exclaimed joy over the prospect of seeing a little beaver, hamster, or other miscellaneous little critter, and approached it enthusiastically to better examine the mystery. The little guy looked up as we neared, revealing a cute little whiskered face, which could identify him as either a hamster, guinea pig or gerbil. The imagined friendly cuteness of our discovery propelled us closer still, until our proximity threatened the creature and forced him to emerge in full view as he slowly backed away from our large, menacing selves.

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The age-old question has finally been answered. Yes, you can interbreed chickens and dogs. No, you shouldn’t do so, as this will be the result; God’s little punch line.

Maybe it’s just me and that thing on its face doesn’t look much like a scrotum at all – maybe I’m just projecting my testicle-lust upon the world.

 

Today’s theory is that all dinosaurs came from a common ancestor who should obviously be named Hpothesaurus Rex due to the speculative nature of his existence. Below, we see his copious amounts of theorized tentacle-like arms that have often been attributed to the Hypothesaurus, but we don’t see the hypothesaurus actually depicted – for to do so would ruin the powers of your imagination to create thine own version! The blue one at the top of this page is just some random dinosaur named Brian. From Captain Pinhead – your local Pontificator.

But I digest. This entry follows Captain Pinhead’s strange and wonky journey towards success, and the ridiculous experiences he’s had on the way.

 In my younger years, I was always told I had such potential, that I was    going places. And how these prophesies have come to pass – why just  this morning I visited my local centrelink (the organization that pays the  unemployed of Australia)  orifice and spoke at length with one of their  psychiatrists about my thorough incompetence at all things life-related.  She concluded that it was a miracle that I could function outside of a  padded room at all – the added stress of employment was out of the question. I think it helped the situation that whenever I was asked a question I responded with “let me put my thinking cap on” and proceeded to encase my head in helmet fashioned out of a salad bowl covered in aluminum foil. And thus it came to pass that the mighty bludging has been extended for another year!

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